Lately I’ve been in a bout where I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be at college away from home. At first, I didn’t like it here so I went home and saw my family and my boyfriend came out to visit and I felt a little better. Plus I started to get used to being in college. Now that I’m used to it, something still feels wrong or unhappy about it. I have a routine and I’m pretty well adjusted but I’ve been thinking lately that college away from home may not be for me.
I am a very family and friend oriented person. I believe that where you came from makes up a big piece of who you are. I am just not as happy when I’m not home and accessible to my family and friends. I love the school, the programs are excellent. It’s the distance that’s the problem.
I went home this past weekend for the Columbus Day break and I really didn’t want to go back to school. My parents and my boyfriend know about my thoughts on the topic of school which made it a little easier because I could talk to them about it. Except, home felt too much like home this time around. It took almost all I had to get in the car and come back here.
Everyone keeps telling me they’ll visit more or that they could come get me on the weekends more often. I want to see them of course, but part of me finds it really hard to have to say “See you later” every time someone has to go. Maybe I should just go “cold turkey” and be on my own whether I want to or not (just kidding, after I finished writing that sentence the first thing that popped into my head was no way). I don’t know. The one thing that has been keeping me going is all the people supporting and helping me, my faith in Him and in the fact that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
Oops, lets get back to my plans going forward. One problem with this possibility of transferring, is that I am currently in an excellent elementary education program, and the schools in the area around home don’t do it justice. Yes I could commute from home to my school, but the drive would be just long enough where I wouldn’t want to do that.
So as of right now, I am thinking of going back to applying to schools through the Common App for next year. This is just to keep my options open. Plus, I haven’t even been here that long so things could look up. If I did transfer, it would be better to do it for next fall rather than this spring so that I can have a good idea if everything will work out here.
A lot of people struggle their first semester of college, this I know. That’s why I am telling you all this. If you’re feeling home sick or like the school you’re currently going to may not work out, you’re not alone.
I am still going to be a teacher, that I would never question. I want to be a teacher so badly. This lost feeling I’ve been having may even make me a better teacher in the long run, it could help me to help my future students with something they’re having trouble with. Or even my athletes (I would love to coach a sport!).
This paragraph I am writing after the first part was written. Since I first wrote the beginning of this post, I worked out, ate good food and talked with some people I’ve met in classes. I had a pretty good day today, so maybe things are looking up already! I’m feeling pretty optimistic ever since today went so well, but I thought I would still tell you about my thoughts I had at another point in the adjustment process. I will keep you guys updated!(: